The Return

Does anyone know what I am talking about? Whatever mode of transportation that you take to return to New York after a long break such as Passover; a car, megabus, boltbus, a van, a train, a plane, it could even be NJTransit or the Long Island Railroad. It does not have to be returning to New York that I am necessarily talking about. It could be any school, any return from a long break. Do you know the feeling of returning to your dorm room or your apartment with a feeling of dread. Sometimes there is excitement mixed in with that dread but not always. You are back. Back to trying to make something of yourself. It is hard to be so far away from family sometimes because you don't spend everyday with them, they don't know what is going on, and then sometimes you both get frustrated at each other because they are just not there and it is hard to describe what is happening on a daily basis. You are back to the daily grind of whatever that may be; work, school, applying to school, studying for the Mcat, Gre, Lsat...sitting and waiting for letters from the schools to which you have applied, trying to find a job....and the list goes on.

 

The back and forth can be stressful. Especially when at home there is always someone there to talk to and take care of you. When you get back to New York, you rely on your friends and sometimes you end up by yourself trying to deal with stuff. If you are stubborn and want to do everything on your own, you end up in a cycle of stress and anger because you refuse help from friends but in reality you need people to help you along the way.

 

It is a a transition time, a confusing place in life. There is no guidebook for this point. "100 ways to know you will be successful." "How to achieve your goals." You can try reading the self-help books. I know I would probably end up throwing them against the wall after a few pages. And while it is a confusing time for us, our parents are also having a bit of difficulty with it because they just want us to be happy, successful, and safe and therefore we end up butting heads because we are coming from two different places and perspectives while in reality we are trying to get to the same goal: happiness, sense of purpose, and sense of belonging. 

 

I had one of these experiences and it took awhile for us to understand each other but by talking it out we both realized that we wanted the same thing. Communication is key at this point. Understanding and staying calm is also key at this point. And little reminders and little words of encouragement are also very important.

It was really because of my mom that I started to realize this. She really just wanted to understand my perspective.

My father sent this to me last night. He prefaced by saying  "I am sending along this song. It is a little corny, but inspiring, and sums up what parents want for their kids. Remember, do not play this in a crowd until after log b'omer, love Daddy" (If you do not listen to music at all during sefirah-I am attaching the words of the song as well). 

 

Bottom line is...no matter how complicated things get...we really want basic things and our parents and people that love us want the best for us. Sometimes it is hard to express this to each other but we manage to find a way...such as through a song by the Rascal Flatts.

 

Please share ways that people in your life that have your best interests in mind show their support! 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz32I_GbpeU