Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The last word on Yeshivat Rambam

Tonight was the last Yeshivat Rambam Dinner.
I would like to share with you my words from the evening. The text is below and I am 
also attaching the video that I put on youtube. 

My name is Mollie Sharfman and I am a proud Yeshivat Rambam Alumnae

My name is Mollie Sharfman and I am a proud Yeshivat Rambam Alumnae.
There is a page in my Rambam high school yearbook, it was the reunion page.
It was about the future-our 15 year reunion.
It was to take place in this very room in 2021.
Instead of coming to this room in 10 years for my class reunion, I stand before you today-in this room for one last time, saying goodbye.

I grew up on Rambam. I don't remember a time when my family was not involved in Rambam, dedicated to making our school the best place for us.
I did not have to look too far for role models.
My parents Dr. Bill Sharfman and Paula Guttman Sharfman always did everything that needed to be done for Rambam since the beginning.
And they are among the few who stayed until the bitter end.
Mom, especially you - all of your hard work and your passionate advocacy for Rambam will not be forgotten.Thank you for setting the bar so high and being the number one person who inspires me.

I had the privilege to grow up across the street from Danny and Phyllis Sykes. Danny and Phyllis: my entire life, I watched as you individually an as a team fight for Rambam. Please know that I was watching and so were your children and you are our role models. We will carry on what you fought so hard for. I always look forward to coming home because of the annual friday night visits by Adriane and Harry Kozlovsky. Harry Kozlovsky, thank you for always being positive for your children and for us, and working so very hard. Adriane, you act with grace and dignity and always take the high road. Your dedication and love for Yeshivat Rambm knows no bounds. For all that you do and continue to do-you should have a special zechut. I would be remiss to not mention Roz Goldberg who was irrefutably the driving force behind the foundation of Rambam.

When I am a parent one day, I hope to be as good of a person as you all have been. I will never forget what you all have done for Rambam, for our community, for your families, and for me.
I also want to wish mazal tov to the Meyer and Yehudit Shields and Dr. Steven and Melanie Fleisher who are being honored here tonight – you too are examples of passionate dedication to Yeshivat Rambam and the community.


So, how has Yeshivat Rambam influenced who I am today? .
It is just part of who I am. 

Yeshivat Rambam prepared me for both the religious and secular aspects of my life. 

It taught me to work hard, to be the best that I can be and that  it is okay to fulfill my dreams(thank you Mrs. Gray for believing in me. Whenever I have to face an obstacle I don't think I can overcome, I say to myself but Mrs. Gray said I could succeed at A.P Chemistry-I can do anything!) 
Yeshivat Rambam gave me the tools to succeed in life, to be a proud Jew and stand at the front lines of the Jewish community and the greater world. 

As a college student, I majored in Jewish studies and English Literature - I love to sit and learn in the Beit Midrash but I also love to read Chaucer(thank you Mrs. Cohn)

But the most important thing that I learned from Yeshivat Rambam was to be involved and committed to the Jewish community. 
Rambam instilled in me the responsibility of being passionate about a cause and not being afraid to act upon it. Some say that dedication to passion and idealism is just a passing phase. But I know that for me it is different .It is a part of the fabric of who I am .  And that was first learned and cultivated right here. Right here in this very building. In this very room . So many times on this very stage. (for anyone who was around-the hills are still alive with the sound of music!) Right here at Yeshivat Rambam.
While I was at Rambam, the high point of my community involvement was America Eats for Israel .  As high school  students, we put Rambam on the  map by  raising  $32,000 for Almagor – the Terrorist Victims association.
During my college years , I spent my summers and my winter breaks interning at Yad Vashem,  participating in community service programs, and leading youth in leadership training programs across the United States, Canada, Europe, and Israel.
This past June, while I was on a Jewish youth mission to Germany, I stood in front of Martin Luther's 95 grievances in Wittenberg, Germany.
All I wanted to do was call my 7th grade history teacher, Mrs. Laurie Austen - the history that she taught me so long ago was now coming to life!
And it is not just me.  As a student at Yeshiva University, I made an interesting observation -   every  community service or Israel action program is populated by Yeshivat Rambam graduates. 
No wonder why.
Not bad for a small school from a small city.
We have made and are still making our marks as leaders locally, nationally, and in Israel.

I really hoped I would be back here in this room in 2016 for my sister Arianna's graduation from Rambam but instead I will have to go to her graduation in an unfamiliar school, in an unfamiliar room, surrounded by unfamiliar people.  
I will not be able to greet and hug my teachers because I will not know them.
My friends won't be standing by my side.
It has been very hard on everyone: but all of your hard work, the hours of trying to find a way to keep Rambam afloat  was not for naught and will not be forgotten.
And to my teachers – I am what I am because of you.

To the Senior Class of 2011 and to all of the students who will not graduate from Yeshivat Rambam – always carry yourselves with pride dignity and confidence.
Be proud to defend yourself and your school -  there are people out there like you who came before you -  like me.
We are still a family and we will tell the world who we are because nothing has changed...this will not break me...
I am still Mollie Sharfman a Yeshivat Rambam graduate who is proud. 


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

GRADUATION SURVIVAL GUIDE

Graduation Survival Guide


“The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience


...I will dispense this advice now.”
(Baz Luhrman in the Sunscreen Song)

Okay. So no one told you what to expect or how you are going to feel in the weeks before graduation, finals week, on your graduation day, and the after effects. Graduation is the commencement, which means it is the beginning of your “real life.” Whether you worked hard or didn’t work hard, whether you have regrets or you are happy with every decision you made in college, whether you got into the graduate school you had been dreaming of, or got rejected (politely of course) from every school in which you applied, whether you got your dream job, or you are currently unemployed for the upcoming year, whether your life is in perfect order right now, or if your life is in a (wonderful) state of chaos…

DON’T THINK ABOUT THOSE (MINOR) DETAILS RIGHT NOW while adorned in your cap and gown. You are a college graduate! That is something major, important, and a major milestone in your life! Smile and be happy!

Here is my survival guide to graduation. If you have anything to add please write in the comments section! I would love to hear what you have to say.

1)Celebrate this milestone the night before graduation (unless you are finishing a last minute paper to fulfill that 0.333 credit to graduate! Get some coffee and stay in the library until you are done). Celebrate the night of graduation, and celebrate the weekend of graduation in whatever way you like to have fun.
Here is what I did: I went to an engagement party the night before my graduation(??!), ate Golan, and then did an emergency fix on my friends graduation gown(you know who you are J). We were going to go out and celebrate but we never got around to it….my advice: get around to it!
2)On the day of graduation: look your best! Walk with confidence and let your family take all the pictures they want. This is their day too. They are so happy that they have forgotten that there is a day after graduation. All they can think about is the graduation itself and how proud they are of you (and themselves for helping you get here). Remember to thank them. They don’t even mention the future because they are too wrapped up in this precious moment. This is a great thing for us “unfinished twenty something’s.” But don’t get too excited because everything will come back to them in the car ride home or that weekend…their memory lapse will have been just a brief moment in time…so enjoy those few hours of bliss! (Love you mom and dad!)
Here is what I did: I got a haircut the day before graduation. Bad idea. My hair stylist was not in that day so I had a random lady butcher my hair and it did not look good under the cap. “Don’t fix what ain’t broken” the day before graduation. Don’t make any drastic changes for these pictures! They will be hanging in your house forever!
3)Sit with your friends. Graduation is long and you need to have people to converse with(and make fun of everything that is going on). I was very happy to have two good friends by my side. We had a blast! The rest of my friends were staying a super senior year and are now graduating! Congrats to all of you! It is also important to have a very witty sibling texting you from the audience. Thanks sis! 
4)Fair warning: you might be disappointed by the speeches at graduation. It might be different this year and they might be really great, but in case you are disappointed, have no fear. I am giving you links to my favorite commencement speeches.
You might not listen to them that night but listen to them over the next few weeks when you are mulling over what just happened to you…wait…I graduated? Go to your nearest favorite coffee shop that has wifi(starbucks!) and listen to them. Trust me…they are worth listening to.
Hillary Clinton at Barnard College: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFv1XlFwwRw
J.K Rowling at Harvard
Ellen Degeneres at Tulane
Sara Besnoff: Student Council President: Barnard College
This last one by the Barnard student council president really spoke to me and I would ask my Stern friends’ (you know who you are) to take a look at this one. All of my Super Senior Stern College Women who sat with me in my women studies classes, in the caf, the beit midrash, 35th street, lectures, events, 3rd ave in the later years discussing everything under the sun, growing into ourselves together, while having the best time. This speech reminds me of us and what we did at Stern College for Women. I am so proud of all of you and your accomplishments. I can’t wait to see your research published, your name with an MD, PHD, JD, MSW, CEO, DMD at the end, the future Professors, the future lawyers, writers, dentists, nobel peace prize winners, Jewish education reformers, yoatzot halacha, GPATS, future OU directors…I can go on and on. Our dreams will be actualized…I can already see it. All of your hard work will pay off.
4)Enjoy all the mazel tovs. You will get a lot of congratulations and mazel tovs in your hometown's, especially in synagogue. Act confident and smile a lot. Enjoy the moment. We will deal with the future after the weekend.
4)READ UNFINISHED TWENTY SOMETHING READING MATERIAL: Now for those of us unfinished, or those of us with some things worked out and other things not worked out, here is some good reading material to let you know that you are not the only one in this stage in life. We are our own stage of life. We are legitimate! It is called “the emerging adult.”
What is it about twenty somethings? This one is a little heavy http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1
Follow up article: glorifies the twenty something: How to be a twenty something:thoughtcatalog.com/2010/how-to-be-a-20-something
And something you might need months after graduation….http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/on-spiraling/

But for right now…don’t look at number 4, that one is for later. Enjoy your graduation! Right now is your time to shine! And there will be many other shining moments in your life and this is a big one.


Hope this helps J

And…

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CLASS OF 2011!!!


Monday, May 23, 2011

23 year old self upon Graduation Day

Finals week bring out a lot of anxiety. I have seen this every year during my college finals. I think one of the reasons for this is that finals mark an end. When finals are over, it is time to leave and pack up for the summer. The year is now over. If you are graduating, this is it for your college career. You find yourself trying to hold on to those last few days, even if they are the most stressful with 2 finals and paper due on the same day. I remember sitting in the Stern library with my new navy blue Stern College sweatshirt savoring the last moments of college life. There is just something romanticized about the life of a college student that doesn't go with you when you graduate onto "real life."  There isn't anything romanticized about paying rent and finding a job. College is that time where you are finding your independence but you still get to be a kid. 

Finals bring out a lot of nostalgia, tears, reflection, and stress. Endings are hard. Transition is also hard. 

But with each transition, we get better at it. We know what to expect. We have an idea of what is coming.
I too am going through a reflection period because I am leaving the halls and dorms of Beren Campus but I am having trouble finding the right words to put everything together. Hopefully I will be able to find my own words soon. 

A lot has happened in the past year but a lot has yet to happen. 
In a lot of ways I have changed alot since I received my diploma in Madison Square Garden last May with my friends by my side, but at the same time nothing has changed. 

It is a frustrating time. It is a weird time. It is an exciting time.

When I have trouble finding the words, I look to my friends for their insight on life and it is usually a lot better than mine. Here are two different people graduating and reflecting on the past, present, and future. They would like to remain anonymous to you and to each other and I think the anonymity will help us connect to them on an even higher level. 

Dear YU,


As graduation nears and I prepare to leave your hallowed halls
I've taken notice of the fact that I stand taller, think harder, and have become the woman everyone always knew I could become.
In exchange for all that, I have left behind a small piece of my childhood which will forever be buried within your walls.
I know that I have forever been changed by you, and that I cannot take back that piece of me
so please take care of it since I know that it cannot accompany me to the real world
But I know
that one day down the line
I'll come back to visit
and I'm going to look for that piece of me that is still here



Sincerely,
My 23 year old self


Dear 23 year old self,

Phew! It has been quite some time. Yes, it's been quite some time since you've done some introspection like that. After three or four years of hard work in school, who can find time for that? I totally understand. Finally, upon graduating, you have looked, sought, analyzed and delved into yourself... to look for me.
And you should know that I've been here the whole time. I've been with you since the beginning, and please G-d, I intend to stay here until the end... yah that includes after graduation. I've been with you during those elementary school days and I'm still here. I've been with you through those rough and awkward adolescent years and I'm still here. I've been with you for those post high school years, and I'm still here. Do not feel discouraged because I am a part of you that never leaves. Sure, bits of me will be shaved off, but my core will remain within.
When we go back to visit YU, it will be like old times again. The inspiration will elevate me to your forefront only to share with you in those childhood memories.

But we're in this together. We're in it for life. I'll be here right where you left me. Just come back and visit a little sooner please.

I'm still here.

Sincerely,
Your Piece Within

These two graduating seniors do not know each other. But they have one thing in common. They are going through a similar transition.
This reaffirmed the power of writing for me.
Thank you 23yearoldself and YourPieceWithin

Sunday, May 8, 2011

I went to Yeshivat Rambam of Baltimore and I am still proud

It is really happening... 

Rambam Set To Close Its Doors At End of Current Year (BaltimoreJewishLife.com) see article: http://baltimorejewishlife.com/news/news-detail.php?SECTION_ID=1&ARTICLE_ID=6005

Please read my article that I wrote about Rambam a few weeks ago that was featured in the Baltimore Jewish Times, Baltimore Jewish Life, and the Yeshiva University Commentator...
From One Yeshivat Rambam Red Storm Player and Fan to Another

By Mollie R. Sharfman (YRHS '06)

Posted on 03/30/11 | Comments (10)
  
 “In the final game in Rambam Baltimore history, the Red Storm defeated the Weinbaum Yeshiva Storm 44-31 to capture the Tier III championship title at the 20th annual Yeshiva University’s Red Sarachek Tournament” (Zach Weiner macslive.com)
Our team. Our players. Our colors. Our school.
Only after reading these words did it finally sink in. Only after the final basketball game, did I finally internalize the reality that my home away from home, Yeshivat Rambam High School was closing at the end of this year.
The Yeshivat Rambam Redstorm Varsity boys basketball team made us proud this past Monday at the Yeshiva University (YU) Red Sarachek tournament. Led by its dedicated coach, Ari Braun, and assistant coach and former Red Storm star, Shulie Hochman (YRHS ’08), they walked into the huge gym at YU with their heads held up high, with pride and dignity, in true Rambam fashion.
I never would have imagined twelve years ago when I played the first Rambam Red Storm Girls Basketball game, that the 2011 Rambam Red Storm Boys Varsity team would play the last.
I will never forget walking into my first game. The game was really far away - but when I looked out into the bleachers, I saw our parents, siblings and teachers who all came out to cheer us on.  Those same parents and teachers who worked so hard, putting in blood, sweat, and tears to build Yeshivat Rambam from nothing - giving us opportunity after opportunity. Our parents and teachers, who cheered us on at our basketball games, represented dedication. And we always had the best cheering section!
As a twelve-year-old, donning my red Yeshivat Rambam Red Storm Jersey for the first time, I felt a great sense of pride wash over me. I was a part of something important. I was representing my school; the school that was mine.
As a sixteen-year-old, I had the privilege to fly down to Miami, Florida with my teammates to represent the Rambam Red Storm in the Ben Lipson Hillel Academy Girls basketball tournament, I knew who I was. I knew where I was going. I was a Yeshivat Rambam student ready to take on the world. Our parents and grandparents came down to Florida and sat on the sidelines in their beach chairs cheering for us. They never missed a game. We walked onto the court representing Baltimore, representing Torah, Judaism, Religious Zionism, Tikkun Olam and community service, along with integrity, nobility, leadership, activism and passion - principles that were instilled in us through our education at Yeshivat Rambam.
When Mrs. Sandy Willner and her family created the Yeshivat Rambam Willner Basketball Tournament in memory of their dear husband, father and grandfather, Mr. Gerald Willner, a”h, the greatest Rambam Red Storm fan of them all, they furthered our pride and sense of purpose. They gave us a place to stand. The tournament took place at the JCC, in the heart of the community. We got to decorate the whole gym in red, wear red face paint, and our coveted Rambam Red Storm jerseys. It was something that we could call our own. In February 2011, the Rambam Red Storm won the last Yeshivat Rambam Willner tournament championship –we went out with style and class.
Our team. Our players. Our colors. Our school.
But the biggest highlight of all was the Yeshiva University Red Sarachek Tournament. It was where the best talent of Yeshiva League basketball from New York and all over the country came together to fight it out.  The first year that the Rambam Red Storm Varsity Boys basketball team qualified for this tournament was a big day at Rambam. We all somehow found rides to New York and made our way up I-95 to cheer on our school.
I remember entering the Max Stern Athletics Center at Yeshiva University. I was intimidated and overwhelmed. I had never been to a gym that big before. There were so many people and I had lost the group that I was with. Suddenly I saw the familiar sea of red all the way at end of the gym - the Rambam contingent. I quickly ran over there and stood with Rambam - our parents, our teachers, and our friends – we all represented Yeshivat Rambam and Baltimore. It was the place where I stood. It was the place where I belonged.
I am a 2006 Yeshivat Rambam of Baltimore High School graduate. It has been almost five years since I graduated but I will wear my Red Storm pin on my bag for as long as I can, as I struggle with the closing of my high school. It is very difficult to sit in classes in my master’s program at Yeshiva University pondering the future of Jewish education while the place that imbued me with so much of who I am today falls apart leaving my thirteen-year-old sister and so many others to search for a new place to stand.
There is much controversy over what happened to Rambam, how it happened, and why it happened.
But there is nothing controversial about basketball.
Last Monday,  when the last-ever Rambam Red storm Varsity team won the YU Red Sarachek Tier III championship title, the familiar pride that I felt so many times as a Yeshivat Rambam High School student washed over me once again.
Our team. Our players. Our colors. Our school.
There is just something about basketball that makes things all the more real. Alumni and current players stood together in the YU Max Stern Athletics Center dreading the end, knowing that it would be the final game. When Rambam won, alumni stormed the court and danced with the last Rambam Red Storm team. Coach Ari Braun then invited alumni and former Red Storm players, among them Noah Pottash (YRHS ‘07), the grandson of Mr. Gerald  a”h and Mrs. Sandy Willner, to speak about Yeshivat Rambam and the basketball team -from one Red Storm player to another.
Congratulations to our champions: Yoni Finkelstein, Dani Strauss, Ben Teles, Yaron Trink, Noam Sonnenschein, Adam Hariri, Sholom Reches, Oren Hariri, Simcha Rosenbluth, Etan Dinnerman, and Pinny Margolius. Managers: Jonah Delshad, Shimmy Nabozny, and Ezra Schwartz, and Assistant Coach Shulie Hochman. Thank you for leaving our mark on Sarachek history. And to their humble Coach Ari Braun who so gracefully led them to the championship.
To all those current and former Rambam Red Storm players and diehard fans out there, you know what feeling I am talking about.
Never forget it. Keep it in your hearts and hang up your jersey in your closet and put it on every once in awhile.
And as our Yeshivat Rambam High School’s tenure in Baltimore comes to a close, the passion and pride of Red Storm Basketball will never die. We are still out there making our school and the Baltimore Jewish community proud - and we always will.




The Return


Does anyone know what I am talking about? Whatever mode of transportation that you take to return to New York after a long break such as Passover; a car, megabus, boltbus, a van, a train, a plane, it could even be NJTransit or the Long Island Railroad. It does not have to be returning to New York that I am necessarily talking about. It could be any school, any return from a long break. Do you know the feeling of returning to your dorm room or your apartment with a feeling of dread. Sometimes there is excitement mixed in with that dread but not always. You are back. Back to trying to make something of yourself. It is hard to be so far away from family sometimes because you don't spend everyday with them, they don't know what is going on, and then sometimes you both get frustrated at each other because they are just not there and it is hard to describe what is happening on a daily basis. You are back to the daily grind of whatever that may be; work, school, applying to school, studying for the Mcat, Gre, Lsat...sitting and waiting for letters from the schools to which you have applied, trying to find a job....and the list goes on.

 

The back and forth can be stressful. Especially when at home there is always someone there to talk to and take care of you. When you get back to New York, you rely on your friends and sometimes you end up by yourself trying to deal with stuff. If you are stubborn and want to do everything on your own, you end up in a cycle of stress and anger because you refuse help from friends but in reality you need people to help you along the way.

 

It is a a transition time, a confusing place in life. There is no guidebook for this point. "100 ways to know you will be successful." "How to achieve your goals." You can try reading the self-help books. I know I would probably end up throwing them against the wall after a few pages. And while it is a confusing time for us, our parents are also having a bit of difficulty with it because they just want us to be happy, successful, and safe and therefore we end up butting heads because we are coming from two different places and perspectives while in reality we are trying to get to the same goal: happiness, sense of purpose, and sense of belonging. 

 

I had one of these experiences and it took awhile for us to understand each other but by talking it out we both realized that we wanted the same thing. Communication is key at this point. Understanding and staying calm is also key at this point. And little reminders and little words of encouragement are also very important.

It was really because of my mom that I started to realize this. She really just wanted to understand my perspective.

My father sent this to me last night. He prefaced by saying  "I am sending along this song. It is a little corny, but inspiring, and sums up what parents want for their kids. Remember, do not play this in a crowd until after log b'omer, love Daddy" (If you do not listen to music at all during sefirah-I am attaching the words of the song as well). 

 

Bottom line is...no matter how complicated things get...we really want basic things and our parents and people that love us want the best for us. Sometimes it is hard to express this to each other but we manage to find a way...such as through a song by the Rascal Flatts.

 

Please share ways that people in your life that have your best interests in mind show their support! 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz32I_GbpeU