I went to Yeshivat Rambam of Baltimore and I am still proud

It is really happening... 

Rambam Set To Close Its Doors At End of Current Year (BaltimoreJewishLife.com) see article: http://baltimorejewishlife.com/news/news-detail.php?SECTION_ID=1&ARTICLE_ID=6005

Please read my article that I wrote about Rambam a few weeks ago that was featured in the Baltimore Jewish Times, Baltimore Jewish Life, and the Yeshiva University Commentator...

From One Yeshivat Rambam Red Storm Player and Fan to Another

By Mollie R. Sharfman (YRHS '06)

Posted on 03/30/11 | Comments (10)

  

 “In the final game in Rambam Baltimore history, the Red Storm defeated the Weinbaum Yeshiva Storm 44-31 to capture the Tier III championship title at the 20^th annual Yeshiva University’s Red Sarachek Tournament” (Zach Weiner macslive.com)

Our team. Our players. Our colors. Our school.

Only after reading these words did it finally sink in. Only after the final basketball game, did I finally internalize the reality that my home away from home, Yeshivat Rambam High School was closing at the end of this year.

The Yeshivat Rambam Redstorm Varsity boys basketball team made us proud this past Monday at the Yeshiva University (YU) Red Sarachek tournament. Led by its dedicated coach, Ari Braun, and assistant coach and former Red Storm star, Shulie Hochman (YRHS ’08), they walked into the huge gym at YU with their heads held up high, with pride and dignity, in true Rambam fashion.

I never would have imagined twelve years ago when I played the first Rambam Red Storm Girls Basketball game, that the 2011 Rambam Red Storm Boys Varsity team would play the last.

I will never forget walking into my first game. The game was really far away - but when I looked out into the bleachers, I saw our parents, siblings and teachers who all came out to cheer us on.  Those same parents and teachers who worked so hard, putting in blood, sweat, and tears to build Yeshivat Rambam from nothing - giving us opportunity after opportunity. Our parents and teachers, who cheered us on at our basketball games, represented dedication. And we always had the best cheering section!

As a twelve-year-old, donning my red Yeshivat Rambam Red Storm Jersey for the first time, I felt a great sense of pride wash over me. I was a part of something important. I was representing my school; the school that was mine.

As a sixteen-year-old, I had the privilege to fly down to Miami, Florida with my teammates to represent the Rambam Red Storm in the Ben Lipson Hillel Academy Girls basketball tournament, I knew who I was. I knew where I was going. I was a Yeshivat Rambam student ready to take on the world. Our parents and grandparents came down to Florida and sat on the sidelines in their beach chairs cheering for us. They never missed a game. We walked onto the court representing Baltimore, representing Torah, Judaism, Religious Zionism, Tikkun Olam and community service, along with integrity, nobility, leadership, activism and passion - principles that were instilled in us through our education at Yeshivat Rambam.

When Mrs. Sandy Willner and her family created the Yeshivat Rambam Willner Basketball Tournament in memory of their dear husband, father and grandfather, Mr. Gerald Willner, a”h, the greatest Rambam Red Storm fan of them all, they furthered our pride and sense of purpose. They gave us a place to stand. The tournament took place at the JCC, in the heart of the community. We got to decorate the whole gym in red, wear red face paint, and our coveted Rambam Red Storm jerseys. It was something that we could call our own. In February 2011, the Rambam Red Storm won the last Yeshivat Rambam Willner tournament championship –we went out with style and class.

Our team. Our players. Our colors. Our school.

But the biggest highlight of all was the Yeshiva University Red Sarachek Tournament. It was where the best talent of Yeshiva League basketball from New York and all over the country came together to fight it out.  The first year that the Rambam Red Storm Varsity Boys basketball team qualified for this tournament was a big day at Rambam. We all somehow found rides to New York and made our way up I-95 to cheer on our school.

I remember entering the Max Stern Athletics Center at Yeshiva University. I was intimidated and overwhelmed. I had never been to a gym that big before. There were so many people and I had lost the group that I was with. Suddenly I saw the familiar sea of red all the way at end of the gym - the Rambam contingent. I quickly ran over there and stood with Rambam - our parents, our teachers, and our friends – we all represented Yeshivat Rambam and Baltimore. It was the place where I stood. It was the place where I belonged.

I am a 2006 Yeshivat Rambam of Baltimore High School graduate. It has been almost five years since I graduated but I will wear my Red Storm pin on my bag for as long as I can, as I struggle with the closing of my high school. It is very difficult to sit in classes in my master’s program at Yeshiva University pondering the future of Jewish education while the place that imbued me with so much of who I am today falls apart leaving my thirteen-year-old sister and so many others to search for a new place to stand.

There is much controversy over what happened to Rambam, how it happened, and why it happened.

But there is nothing controversial about basketball.

Last Monday,  when the last-ever Rambam Red storm Varsity team won the YU Red Sarachek Tier III championship title, the familiar pride that I felt so many times as a Yeshivat Rambam High School student washed over me once again.

Our team. Our players. Our colors. Our school.

There is just something about basketball that makes things all the more real. Alumni and current players stood together in the YU Max Stern Athletics Center dreading the end, knowing that it would be the final game. When Rambam won, alumni stormed the court and danced with the last Rambam Red Storm team. Coach Ari Braun then invited alumni and former Red Storm players, among them Noah Pottash (YRHS ‘07), the grandson of Mr. Gerald  a”h and Mrs. Sandy Willner, to speak about Yeshivat Rambam and the basketball team -from one Red Storm player to another.

Congratulations to our champions: Yoni Finkelstein, Dani Strauss, Ben Teles, Yaron Trink, Noam Sonnenschein, Adam Hariri, Sholom Reches, Oren Hariri, Simcha Rosenbluth, Etan Dinnerman, and Pinny Margolius. Managers: Jonah Delshad, Shimmy Nabozny, and Ezra Schwartz, and Assistant Coach Shulie Hochman. Thank you for leaving our mark on Sarachek history. And to their humble Coach Ari Braun who so gracefully led them to the championship.

To all those current and former Rambam Red Storm players and diehard fans out there, you know what feeling I am talking about.

Never forget it. Keep it in your hearts and hang up your jersey in your closet and put it on every once in awhile.

And as our Yeshivat Rambam High School’s tenure in Baltimore comes to a close, the passion and pride of Red Storm Basketball will never die. We are still out there making our school and the Baltimore Jewish community proud - and we always will.

The Return

Does anyone know what I am talking about? Whatever mode of transportation that you take to return to New York after a long break such as Passover; a car, megabus, boltbus, a van, a train, a plane, it could even be NJTransit or the Long Island Railroad. It does not have to be returning to New York that I am necessarily talking about. It could be any school, any return from a long break. Do you know the feeling of returning to your dorm room or your apartment with a feeling of dread. Sometimes there is excitement mixed in with that dread but not always. You are back. Back to trying to make something of yourself. It is hard to be so far away from family sometimes because you don't spend everyday with them, they don't know what is going on, and then sometimes you both get frustrated at each other because they are just not there and it is hard to describe what is happening on a daily basis. You are back to the daily grind of whatever that may be; work, school, applying to school, studying for the Mcat, Gre, Lsat...sitting and waiting for letters from the schools to which you have applied, trying to find a job....and the list goes on.

 

The back and forth can be stressful. Especially when at home there is always someone there to talk to and take care of you. When you get back to New York, you rely on your friends and sometimes you end up by yourself trying to deal with stuff. If you are stubborn and want to do everything on your own, you end up in a cycle of stress and anger because you refuse help from friends but in reality you need people to help you along the way.

 

It is a a transition time, a confusing place in life. There is no guidebook for this point. "100 ways to know you will be successful." "How to achieve your goals." You can try reading the self-help books. I know I would probably end up throwing them against the wall after a few pages. And while it is a confusing time for us, our parents are also having a bit of difficulty with it because they just want us to be happy, successful, and safe and therefore we end up butting heads because we are coming from two different places and perspectives while in reality we are trying to get to the same goal: happiness, sense of purpose, and sense of belonging. 

 

I had one of these experiences and it took awhile for us to understand each other but by talking it out we both realized that we wanted the same thing. Communication is key at this point. Understanding and staying calm is also key at this point. And little reminders and little words of encouragement are also very important.

It was really because of my mom that I started to realize this. She really just wanted to understand my perspective.

My father sent this to me last night. He prefaced by saying  "I am sending along this song. It is a little corny, but inspiring, and sums up what parents want for their kids. Remember, do not play this in a crowd until after log b'omer, love Daddy" (If you do not listen to music at all during sefirah-I am attaching the words of the song as well). 

 

Bottom line is...no matter how complicated things get...we really want basic things and our parents and people that love us want the best for us. Sometimes it is hard to express this to each other but we manage to find a way...such as through a song by the Rascal Flatts.

 

Please share ways that people in your life that have your best interests in mind show their support! 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz32I_GbpeU

Two Little Girls and Acts of Kindness

On April 22, 2011, Judy Zassler Ference, beloved wife of Scott Ference; cherished mother of Yosef Yisroel Ference, Elianna Devorah and Chanoch Spetner, Chana Rachel Ference, Meira Nechama Ference, and Yoni Ference; devoted sister of Bob Zassler of Israel, passed away. I was going to title my second blog post “The Great Escape”. II was going to discuss my trip to Puerto Rico for Passover.How I had such a nice and relaxing time; exactly what I needed. How I was so relaxed there and it worried me because I seem to be happy and relaxed when I am away from my real life. I was going to talk about that if you see this pattern in your life, it might be a good time to evaluate your choices and decisions and maybe it is time to move on and do something new. But in the middle of my trip, I got a text; a text that changed my attitude.Baz Luhrman says in his Sunscreen Song “Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.”Unfortunately, this has happened before and I am sure it has happened to you. You look down at your blackberry or cell phone and there is a text in your inbox from your friend, you open it…and written is something you just cannot wrap your head around. I got a text from my friend that said “Baruch Dayan Emet: Elianna Ference’s mother passed away.” Cancer had done it again. My childhood flashed before me. I then called my mother but she was already making shabbos food for the Ference family. Little did I know, while I was escaping in Puerto Rico, every member of my family was taking care of the Ference family. My father, if you know what his profession is, you can put the pieces together, my mother, the altruist and empathetic mother to all, and my brother, the one who takes care of people in crisis. I felt a wave of homesickness. We haven’t spoken to the Ference family in awhile.Two little girls who met in Montessori Preschool 19 years ago, brought these two families together, unbeknownst to us when we were three years old, that our friendship would be the one that would matter most. But since I was in Puerto Rico, I missed it all. Based on some personal experiences, I started to think that the only way to get ahead in life was to lose my “nice” and altruistic way of life that my parents taught me. It seemed to me that manipulation and deceit was the way to win. It completely went against everything I was taught, but my ways were just not working.
 How wrong I was. Two little girls: I don’t even remember how it happened but once we met, that was it. We were inseparable; the memories, the fun times, the sleepovers, the family barbeques. Our families became best friends because of us. We practically lived in each other’s houses. It is so hard to convey the emotions. When I walked into the Ference home yesterday to the shiva house; the familiar rooms, the windows, the backyard: it felt like home. I traveled so far away from my home town for Pesach and thought I had found happiness but when I walked into the Ference home, it felt safe and real.After first grade, Elianna and I went to different schools and as the years went by, our families weren’t as close as we used to be...so many year went by. But we still invited each other to family celebrations and whenever I saw members of the Ference family, especially Judy, she was always delighted to see me and excited to hear what I was up to in life. She had this way of making you feel like you were the most important person in the world. Judy Ference was one of the kindest women I have ever met.  She gave me such an amazing childhood. Our parents really gave us such good memories, they let us run  with our creativity. They gave us every opportunity for fun. Two little girls: we met when we were three years old. 19 years later, our families are connected on the deepest of levels. I wish it wasn’t for such an awful and sad occasion.When you are three years old, the differences that keep people from being friends today don’t matter. We just knew how to have a lot of fun together. And our families connected because of this. We all made each other so happy. But we must have known there was a higher purpose for our friendship. 19 years later, we mourn the deep loss of Judy Ference.I just have to thank you Mrs. Ference for giving your children and the Sharfman children the greatest childhood we could ever ask for. A word to the twenty-something: Don’t escape. Don’t run away from it all. Or run away like I did and then learn your lesson the hard way. Because you need to be there when your friends and family need you most and when you need them most. Life is about showing up and the acts of kindness that we do for one another.  May Ella Yehudis bat Shraga Feivel's neshama have an aliyah and may the Ference family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. 

update

Hi Everyone. I know it has been awhile since I have written last. I was in Puerto Rico for Passover and I tried not to think as hard as I usually do. Of course that did not work and I will be writing a lot in the coming days and weeks.

Unfortunately my laptop has caught a virus...great timing!
I hope to be back on my laptop soon.

I will keep you all posted!